Murphy's Laws

• If anything can go wrong, it will.
• The probability of anything happening is in inverse ratio to its desirability.
• Nothing is as easy as it looks.
• Everything takes longer than you think.
• Work always expands to fill the time available for doing it.
• Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
• The other line always moves faster.
• When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time.
• You will remember that you forgot to take out the trash when the garbage truck is two doors away.
• The chance of the bread falling with the peanut butter-and-jelly side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
• Any tool dropped while repairing a car will roll underneath to the exact center.
• There are two kinds of dirt: a light kind that is attracted to dark objects, and a dark kind that is attracted to light objects.
• The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an oncoming train.
• Inside every small problem is a large problem struggling to get out.
• Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
• No matter how long or hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it, it will be on sale somewhere else for less.
• You will never find an article until you replace it.
• Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
• Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.
• People are always promoted to their level of incompetence.
• It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
• Washing your car to make it rain doesn't work.
• Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.
• An object in motion will be headed in the wrong direction.
• An object at rest will be in the wrong place.
• Murphy was an optimist.

Author Unknown