If anything can go wrong, it will.
The probability of anything happening is in inverse ratio to its
Nothing is as easy as it looks.
Everything takes longer than you think.
Work always expands to fill the time available for doing it.
Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
The other line always moves faster.
When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on
You will remember that you forgot to take out the trash when the garbage
truck is two doors away.
The chance of the bread falling with the peanut butter-and-jelly side down
is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
Any tool dropped while repairing a car will roll underneath to the exact
There are two kinds of dirt: a light kind that is attracted to dark objects,
and a dark kind that is attracted to light objects.
The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an oncoming train.
Inside every small problem is a large problem struggling to get out.
Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
No matter how long or hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it, it
will be on sale somewhere else for less.
You will never find an article until you replace it.
Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.
People are always promoted to their level of incompetence.
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
Washing your car to make it rain doesn't work.
Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.
An object in motion will be headed in the wrong direction.
An object at rest will be in the wrong place.
Murphy was an optimist.