Elephant Jokes
Q: How can you put two elephants in a Volkswagon?
A: One in the front seat, one in the back seat.
Q: How can you tell if there are two elephants in your refrigerator?
A: Look for footprints in the butter.
Q: How can you put four elephants in a Volkswagon?
A: Two in the front seat, two in the back seat.
Q: How can you tell if there are four elephants in your refrigerator?
A: Look for a Volkswagon in the driveway.
Q: How do you make an elephant float?
A: With two scoops of ice-cream, a bottle of root beer, and an elephant.
Q: Why are elephants large, grey, and wrinkled?
A: Because if they were small, white, and smooth they would be aspirins.
Q: Why did the elephant wear dark sunglasses?
A: So he wouldn't be recognized.
Q: What did Tarzan say when the elephant came up over the hill?
A: Nothing. He didn't recognize the elephant because he was wearing dark sunglasses.
Q: What is the difference between a plum and an elephant?
A: A plum is purple.
Q: What did Jane say when she saw a herd of elephants coming up over the hill?
A: Look, the plums are coming! (Jane was colorblind.)
Q: What did the cat say to the elephant?
A: Meow.
Q: What's the difference between an elephant and a flea?
A: An elephant can have fleas, but a flea can't have elephants.
Q: Why did the elephant cross the road?
A: It was the chicken's day off.
Q: How do you keep an elephant from charging?
A: Take away his credit cards.
Q: Why do elephants drink so much?
A: To try to forget.
Q: Why do elephants take showers?
A: Because they can't fit in the tub.
Q: Why did the Elephant stand on the marshmellow?
A: So she wouldn't fall in the hot chocolate.
Q: How do you get down from an elephant?
A: You don't, you get down from a duck.
Q: How do you know if there is an elephant under the bed?
A: Your nose is touching the ceiling.
Q: Why did the elephant paint his toenails green?
A: So he could hide in a tree.
Q: Have you ever seen an elephant hiding in a tree?
A: It worked, didn't it!
Q: How do elephants get up into the trees, anyway?
A: They parachute from airplanes.
Q: Why is it dangerous to walk through the jungle in the evening?
A: Because that is when the elephants are parachuting out of the airplanes.
Author Unknown